Monday, March 14, 2011

Catch-up and emotions

I've been a bad blogger as of late. Since the last episode, I finished neurology and I'm back in Philly, which is great. I went down to Florida for three days to visit my Grandpa. I finalized my rank order list.

So in about 11 hours, I will find out whether I have matched or not. I haven't really been nervous, but now I'm starting to feel sick with apprehension. I honestly don't think it's from thinking that I won't match, but more that it's hitting me that my future is coming soon. Finding out where I match makes my upcoming move seem so much more real. I never really wanted to move on in such a major way. Part of me never had a choice, because my friends would probably be leaving too. Natalie has only been here for a few months, and I feel awful leaving her, even though that isn't really what I am doing. It's just been nice to have another friend in town. Her lifestyle also scares me, because I see how much she is working, and I know that will be me in a few months. I will have to work to force myself to go out or do anything after work. My default is always to go home and veg, but I can't do that in a new city and expect to be happy. I think this whole thing is reminding me of when I left Albany and started school in Philly. It was an emotional time with lots of pining for the past. I know that this will happen again, and it's hard to prepare for that. At the same time, it helps to know that things got better with time.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Two days left in A-town

I only have two days left in Allentown, which is pretty exciting. After Thursday (as long as I pass the Shelf exam), I only have one rotation left! It is Dermatology, which should be cake. Now, I am trying to decide on my rank order list. I keep weighing hospital versus location. I don't want to be lonely, but each hospital has their plusses and minuses. I would be super awesome if I get my top choice, or even one of the top three, but below that, I'm pretty undecided. I've been talked out of going to Delaware; I really wish the hospital was closer to Philly, because 45 min is really too much to drive morning and evening everyday for three years.

Waiting to hear if I will be moving is hard for other reasons. I feel lonely now, and feel the desire to J-date again. It comes on so seldomly lol, but now I feel like there's no point. It's kind of silly to tell a guy on a blind date that you may be moving 2 hours away in a few months. Maybe a year ago it would have been okay, or I could even stay in Philly now if I had met someone. So now I have to wait until match to see what happens. I have to promise myself that I will go on dates even if I am tired; otherwise I will never go out at all. Part of me wishes to meet someone in residency, which is still a possibility but not something I can bank on at this point. We shall see what happens.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

It becomes difficult to update when you don't have internet in your room. sigh....

Anyway, I'm back in Philly for the weekend. I only need to go back to Lehigh for Monday and Tuesday, and then I'm done, which is awesome obviously! I also need to study for neurology, which is super annoying, but of course I don't have a choice. I haven't taken a shelf exam since June, and I haven't really studied since then either. But after this, I will be done with exams until Step 3 in residency. I will never be able to say that I am done with exams. They just come with the doctor territory.

In more exciting news, I went to the Daily Show on Thursday! We got in and it was awesome. I'm writing down the whole story of the day, so when it's done, I will post it here.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Update

So, too weeks down in Lehigh. Yippee! Neuro is going by decently, considering the amount of time I spend waiting in the library on the computer. There isn't much for med students to do around here. This month has been pretty busy, which is good, because it cuts up the week so well. Less time needs to be spent lying around here.

Nutrisystem is going very well. As of last week, I've lost 16 pounds, which is insane. I bought a size 8 dress from The Limited. My thoughts now go to keeping the weight off after I switch back off of Nutrisystem. It's easier to eat the portioned meals and turn down junk and snacks, but making it a part of a lifestyle change will be the next challenge.

In other aspects of life, I'm trying to figure out my rank order list. It's hard to figure out the order of where I may live. Hopefully, I'll get my first choice, but everything needs to be considered. The middle choices are the hardest to put in order. I'm trying to consider where other young people live and where I'd like to live at this point. At some point, it will become a crapshoot, but in the meantime, I'm tossing all the possibilities in my head. Time will tell, right?

Monday, January 31, 2011

Lehigh

So my super relaxed elective has ended, and I am now at Lehigh hospital for neurology. I am so sick of living out of a suitcase, moving around, etc etc. This place's wireless sucks. There is a hallway bathroom for heaven's sake. I should be getting a roommate, but she hasn't come yet and I'm praying that she won't, at least for a while. I miss Penny, and my apartment. It's lonely being here, away from everyone in Philly. I'll be going back every weekend. Just keep reminding myself that this is the last time I'll be doing living away, and that it will go by quickly.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

The Jets and Moving On

So anyone who follows football knows that the Jets lost to the Steelers on Sunday. It was a heartbreaking moment for my dad, brother and I. It was different than everyone else discussing their sadness. David and I wouln't say anything. I actually cried, which I was entirely surprised by. The Jets had been doing so well this season, rose against the Patriots and the critics, and then lost. They screwed up in the first half, and tried to rally during the second, but they coudn't score three touchdowns. It's easy to say "maybe next year," but with the NFL, you never know what next season will bring, with injuries and trades, or just plain old bad games. It's hard to guess when they'll be in this position again. But that's football, I guess. Only one team can win each year. I'll be rooting for Green Bay in two weeks, because they are green, not in the Jets division, and to irritate Brett Favre.

The other thing that pissed me off were the comments on facebook from Jet haters. I don't know what it is about the Jets, but people just like to get on them. A Giants fan and a Patriots fan kept making posts trashing the Jets, and it kept getting to me, so I finally blocked their posts from my wall. It's funny how people talk so much trash when their team was watching the game on TV.

So I've slowly recovered, but now I have a cold, plus I have to write a paper due Friday on an ambulatory care topic of my choice. Such a hassle, but to be fair, this is a really easy rotation.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Life update

So I'm not so good with this updating business . . .
I procrastinate with this, like other things like cleaning my apartment.

But life has been good. The Jets beat the Patriots on Sunday!! Prob the most awesome game ever! It honestly felt as good as winning the Superbowl already! We still have to play the Steelers to make it in, but now anything seems possible. The Patriots are our biggest rivals, so it was just awesome to beat them, especially after losing 45-3 last time. I'll be going home on Sunday to watch the game with my dad. If the Jets make it, I know that's the place I want to be . . . with my dad, the world's biggest and craziest Jet fan. He has Superbowl tickets contingent on the Jets making it, so I would not be able to celebrate with him then. It's been very exciting to follow the predictions for all the games, not that they mean anything. People still like to mock the Jets, but part of me likes it that way. Reminds me of the old days, pushes the fair weather fans away a little bit.

In other news, Nutrisystem has been working really well. I have to keep my mind on what goes into my mouth. Sometimes I get cravings, but it's been easier to push them aside. I've lost about 10 pounds now, which has been really amazing. I don't feel that different, but some of my pants don't fit, and I can now fit into pants that had grown tight on me. It's pretty awesome. I have to keep reminding myself that I will need to maintain this once I reach my ideal, and not resort back to my old portions. But now it feels good. Mom keeps telling me how proud she is, then lol she always manages to ask about Jdate, which is going no where right now. That's okay though.

It's been having Natalie, my college friend, living in Philly here. She came out for my med school friend Melissa's birthday on Saturday. I think she's getting used to my friends here, and their vulgarities. I get nervous that they can scare people away, or at least frighten them at first, but it's been pretty good. They make me laugh and happy so it's all that I need.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Day 4

So I'm getting into the diet thing. And now I'm getting to the "you were happier before" thoughts, and desires to binge on something. I don't hate the diet food per say, I just really want to put more food into my mouth. It's so hard to change your mindset. I've been really good so far, but thoughts always go to "well, now you have to do this forever or you'll gain all of your weight back." Something about it makes me cringe. Forever is a long time. And part of me wants to be able to eat as much as I want every meal. Even though it's not healthy, and will keep me at this weight. I'm not obese, just overweight. But I could be thinner. I know I've gained weight, during med school and even college. Maybe doing this diet for a long enough time will make me not have these excess cravings. Gum helps :) So does looking at my belly. I even lost 6 pounds in one week, but I don't know that I trust my scale. But I did lose something, I suppose. The pounds will be harder to lose as I go on.
I have gone to the gym yesterday and today, which is something too. It's so hard to get into the habit and so easy to fall out. I have experienced this so many times before. Maybe another successful weigh-in will help with motivation.
Right now, one day at time seems to be the way to think.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Nutrisystem

So today was sort of my first day on the Nutrisystem diet.
It all started when I was looking at the photo albums with my mom. There were pictures of me when I was 16. It's funny how at the time I didn't feel skinny or thin, but now I can see that I was. The whole "new year" thoughts started kicking in, and I thought about the Nutrisystem diet again. I've thought about it before, but always had reasons to not try. I think I'm afraid of failing it, or wanting to quit right away. I hate feeling hungry . . . I like to eat. Probably more than I should. I really don't eat many "bad foods", I just eat too much. So my hope is that after doing this diet for a while, I will start to feel full earlier and be able to eat less every meal. I also need to listen when I get the "full" signals from my body. I like to eat, so sometimes I keep eating when I am full, to either not waste food, or keep eating something that I like. Bad habits. Not healthy. So I am trying to change them.
So the food came yesteray, and I picked the box up today; definitely earlier than I expected. I was hoping it wouldn't come until Monday, so that I could have this weekend as a kind of last hurrah. Well, then I opened the box and got excited by all of the different foods to try and the possibilities waiting at the end of the 28 days. So since I had no plans for tonight, but I might want to eat out tomorrow, I decided that I would start tonight.
So I had salisbury steak with salad. It was good, a lot better than I thought it would be, considering that it's coming from a shelf-stable package. It was pretty filling too.

So in other exciting news, I got four free tickets to the Daily Show on February 17! I was on the Facebook during the day and saw the post for free tickets to the Show on the wall. So I responded quickly enough and got them! The more I think about it, the more excited I get! I know that the tickets are overbooked, so I will be sure to get there early. :D Yippee!

Sunday, January 2, 2011

2011

Happy 2011! And happy new blog!

I don't know what this will become. I just felt like maybe if I document my life, it will be useful in the future. Maybe I will meet someone and tell the story. Maybe it will help me collect my thoughts.

So let me introduce myself. I am Laura J. I am 25, I currently live in Pennsylvania. I am in my fourth and last (TG!) year of medical school. I am currently almost finished interviewing for pediatric residency positions in the Northeast. This part of my life isn't too difficult, but it was rough when I started, and it will be rough again when I start residency. Let's not get too far ahead of myself here.

I am Jewish. I am the oldest of 3 children (1 sister. 1 brother.) In my free time, I like to knit, hang out with my friends and family, veg in front of the computer and read. I like the NY Jets (heading to the playoffs! yippee), Seinfeld, Facebook.

I will tell more about myself as time goes on I'm sure. I don't know if anyone will read this. So right now, its for me.

Laura J